Awkward Parent Teacher Conference-Racist?

From a Quora Question: As teachers, what is the most awkward parent teacher conference you've ever had?

I had a student that claimed that I would not help her at my after-school tutorial because I was racist. I am Caucasian and she was Hispanic. I did not know that the student told her parents this prior to the parent teacher conference that the principal arranged. I thought we were meeting based on her grades.

When I got to the meeting my principal was tense and the parents were really angry with me. The icy stares I got from the parents were a complete surprise to me. I have a good rapport with my students and parents so I did not expect nor understand what the issue was. At that point I didn’t have any idea why they were so upset. Once the principal shared the accusation I responded with the truth:

1. To the parents: “I don’t have any white students. I only have Hispanic, Black and Asian students. ALL of my students are always invited and encouraged to come to my tutorial (I volunteered my time). Your daughter does not come because she prefers to hang out with her boyfriend during tutorial. That is the only reason that she isn’t there. Apparently she did not share this information with you and preferred to make up a convenient story. You are welcome to come to my tutorial or to my classroom any time. That way you can see for yourself what is really happening.”

2. To my principal: “I volunteer my time to help any student that wants help. I would never exclude any student. I know you know that.”

3. From my principal: “Yes, I know that. Thank you.”

   
   
   
   

At this point the parents, especially the mother, redirected all of the anger that had been unleashed on me, onto the daughter. My principal thanked me and excused me to return to my classroom. I don’t remember now if the parents apologized to me or not.

It was hard to take at the time because I was doing my best to offer my help to all of my students and giving my time voluntarily. This was not the appreciation I would have expected.

Final Thought: Teachers try SO hard to help their students. Most of the time you will be appreciated but when you're not, hang in there! There are TONS of others that do appreciate you.